Let Sleeping Moms (Or Just Me) Lie

I am weird at night and it has only gotten worse.  My husband will completely attest to it.  There are times when he refuses to sleep in the same bed as me because I have freaked him out.

I have been a sleep talker, screamer, laugher.  Not a big deal, pretty normal – I hope.  I think the worst thing I did before turning 25 was let loose a string of cursing in my sleep while sharing a bed with my mom in a hotel on vacation.  She said I was really angry – and she was really scared.  Yikes.  Sorry!  I don’t know if it’s age or if I need to be heavily medicated for it, but I wish I could go back to talker-screamer-laugher-curser.  I know my husband does.

There is a time between being DEAD asleep and being HORRIBLY awake where the sleeping brain and the alert brain do a nasty little dance.  For most people I’d say this jig is less than half of a second.  For me however… it can last minutes.  Very long WEIRD minutes.  It is not a good time for me… or my husband.

Ok, so you want to know what happens.  Well, here are some examples.

I have awoken some nights to a strange noise, possibly in my own head, and yelled at my husband.  This week it was the weird chirping noise Buggy’s toy with batteries dying a terrible death let out in the middle of the night as a last cry for help.  I awoke to yell at Hubby as to why he didn’t take his turn on the name calling device.  WHAT is a name calling device and WHY do you take turns?  I have NO idea.  And how I just described it isn’t even really what it was because I really can’t describe it in words.  This week, he didn’t wake up.  Thank goodness – because I would still be hearing about how weird I am and why do I do that.

I have awoken in extremely high anxiety over a task that is lost.  Again, no idea what that means.  I have jumped out of bed loudly saying “it’s over here, I know it”, ran to my husband’s side of the bed to look around on the floor I can’t see in the dark or through the weird colors and images my sleepy side of the brain is blocking the real world with.  My husband promptly woke up, sat up, yelled at me “GET BACK INTO BED”.  I awoke completely, hung my head in shame (full knowing I’d done it again – not the first time) and got back into bed.  The next morning I asked why he was so mean to me.  He said he wasn’t trying to be but instead was completely terrified as to why I was looking around at the floor in the middle of the night and it was his knee jerk reaction.  I’ll take that over getting confused for a burglar and getting punched in the face.

Worst one ever – and it has sadly happened more than once.  I have awoken several times, thinking that someone is playing a trick on me by hiding in my room in the dark.  I swear I can see their outline or shadow in the dark.  Do I immediately call 911 and request guns a’blazing?  NO!  I sit in bed and loudly demand over and over again “GET OUT!  GET OUT OF MY ROOM!  GET OUT!”  You can only imagine how my husband feels about this one.  If there was a gun in his night stand, I’m sure he’d be the one with guns a’blazing – hopefully at the shadow in the corner.

I’m a freak of nature.  Or my brain is.  Either way, my sleepy brain and awake brain do NOT play nice together.  But it leads to some interesting events and funny discussions in the bathroom the next morning.

I doubt I’ll have anything more exciting about my nightly episodes to post anytime soon – it’s usually one of the 3 events listed above.  But if I happen to weave the neighbors a sweater out of my dog’s hair while in my underwear in THEIR living room, I’ll be sure to tell you about it.  Once the psych ward lets me have access to the internet, of course.

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2 Responses to Let Sleeping Moms (Or Just Me) Lie

  1. Mylam says:

    That doesnt sound fun at all

  2. Pingback: Are You Afraid Of The Dark? I Am! | Always Half Full

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