This was my first week back at work after my summer break. If you’ve read my About Me page, you know that I am a teacher. Teachers went back this week. Before this week I had several ideas of “profound” (at least my version of it) posts about this event. Something about my goals or resolutions for this year. My hopes and dreams. Blah, blah, blah. What did happen this week was nowhere close to allowing me to even think about that stuff (I’ll have to put it off to a later date when I really don’t have time to think about it. Then I’ll just stop having hopes, dreams, goals, and resolutions for my professional and personal life for 10 months. Great!).
As many of you know, Buggy had stomach issues and diaper rash last weekend. Well, he’s still got it. And by it, I mean both. And by both, I mean worse. And by worse, I mean I’m about to lose my mind.
The first week back for a teacher is an adjustment to say the least. There is the exhaustion from a full day’s work (please refrain from any rude comments about how nice it must be to actually have 2 months of no work – because we put in PLENTY of time during 10 months to make up for much more than 2 months – try it for a day and see if you survive). The daily household routine and schedule is completely off. Cleanliness (of the house, not me) can reach an all time low. Throw a toddler in the mix, it can be complete chaos. Throw diarrhea and diaper rash in there as well – you might as well curl up in the corner and give up.
Hubby stayed home from work. Grandma came for a day (God bless her soul because she was uber-excited about spending the day with him – even with the nastiness that was his rear end. Got my “glass half full” attitude from my mother!). Hubby and I are both doing doctor visits tomorrow (he’s taking Buggy, I myself am not feeling well). Apparently, Hubby will be lucky if he works more than 2 days this week.
Dinner has been, well, I don’t even know if you can call it dinner. Buggy has eaten his weight in crackers and toast this week. There is not much you can feed a leaking child. Changing a “special” diaper, cleansing the rear in the bath, and laying on disgustingly thick cream every hour does not bode well for the appetite. It’s been sandwiches, cereal, or nothing (mostly what I’ve eaten) for the adults.
The mornings are hectic. We aren’t sleeping well. So there is the horrible ache of exhaustion when the alarm clock goes off. Buggy wakes up early with poo spattering the crib. So there is not only changing and bathing him but changing sheets and a load of laundry each morning as well. I’m lucky to be wearing clothes and drinking a cup of coffee when I leave the house. This morning I somehow cut my finger while… no idea – brushing my hair, putting on lotion, looking for clothes? – really can’t think of what did it. I, of course, didn’t notice for a while but kept wondering what the red stain was I kept finding on the clothing I was turning inside out to try on. Three outfits later, I realized I was bleeding profusely from my knuckle, and made it downstairs in non-bloody clothing.
I was really hoping this week I could focus on my redefined job this year. Meeting new colleagues, learning new buildings, pilfering through years of collected strategies passed down by a mega guru – all while pondering how I would change myself to be a better teacher, colleague, and leader this year. In spite of a horrific budget, having more to do with less pay, I was going to rise above and be the best I’ve ever been. Yes, I have organized, cleaned, de-cluttered office spaces. I have met new people and spent time with familiar friends. But I have not had the focus I was expecting. It’s hard to concentrate when your little one is not feeling well and you can’t be there to make it all better – or at least cuddle away the tears.
So once Buggy can be set straight (which better be tomorrow at the doctor’s because I can’t watch him be sick for one more day), I’ll be a week behind in epiphanies, and the students return. If you’ve ever worked in a school – you know what that means. You are tied to 300 pound weights (all the things you need to do) at the bottom of the pool (school) and the pool has just filled with water in one second flat (the children getting off the bus). Maybe I’ll be profound next year. Or maybe I’ll miraculously be a better person this year. Stay tuned…