My husband has a coworker getting married this weekend. My husband shared with me that his coworker expressed a bit of nervousness about getting married. He also shared with me a few of his words of wisdom he bestowed upon this lucky (or poor) sap. I’d like to share that as well.
But first I must share that my husband “jokingly” said that he told his friend, “Yeah, you have every right to be nervous. Your life is totally going to change. For the worse.” Seriously? That does not help me in continuing to be a happily married woman! And even though my husband immediately hugged me, apologized, and repeated that it was a joke (after I pointed to our son and said, “I’m sorry your life got worse. I’ll just take worse and get out of here.”), I was reminded of a not so wonderful joke he played soon after we were married.
We were married in March (not of this year) and Tropical Storm Gaston took out his car a few months later. We were at the dealership finalizing our purchase of a new (used) car. The young guy helping us shared that he was thinking about marrying his girlfriend. “Oh really,” says my husband. “Yeah, we’ve been together for a long time. She’s been asking for it for a while. I figure I owe it to her.” They both nod. The salesman asks, “So how’s married life?” I respond quite enthusiastically, “GREAT!” My doting husband on the other hand, “Ehhh, it’s alright,” in the tone of voice that sounds like he was utterly unhappy, tortured continuously, and had made the biggest mistake of his life. Which I assure you he wasn’t and hadn’t. I think. I reply straight to him… “HEY!” He does and says nothing except, “what?”. To this day he contends that it was a joke… but why didn’t he take it back in front of the guy?
I regret to inform all of you that I did not milk that moment for all that it was worth. Less than 6 months of marriage. An untrue, and hurtful, comment made and NOT taken back in public. I was so focused on this buying a car thing that I sort of forgot to be mad at him and get jewelry out of it. I STILL regret that to this day. I’m not spiteful, but I have a great husband. So occasions like these never come along.
Back to present day… this is the guy giving marriage advice. But I have to say that what he told his coworker was not that bad. He told his buddy that yes, his life would change. Now he would have to take someone else’s life into consideration for just about everything he does. He told him that we hang out together but we also spend time apart. And we are cool with that (which we are). My favorite piece of advice… “If she’s crazy now, the crazy will only get worse. If you’re the crazy one, the crazy will only get worse. But if both of you are crazy, you are screwed.”
Very true and very wise.